I am the light

Back in February, I participated in a bio-field tuning workshop. For those thinking, what the heck is that, essentially, our biofield is our body's electrical system including the electrical currents that run through us as well as the magnetic field around us. And biofield tuning is a therapy method using the vibrations that come with sound to help heal your energy field that is inextricably connected with our conscious and subconscious mind, including our memories (https://www.biofieldtuning.com/).

So back in February, at the end of the workshop, there was a drawing for a free remote session, and after volunteering to be demonstrated on I was drawn as the winner! I  honestly feel like that short amount of time on the table as the demo helped me manifest winning the free session. I finally did my free session this week, and I just have to say it was profound and powerful and has completely changed my outlook on life recently.

But first some back story

Back in December, when I was finished teaching my college course for the semester, I could feel my body shutting down. My pharmacy had switched my thyroid medication, and there was clearly an ingredient in the new one that wasn’t agreeing with me.

Fatigue has always been a symptom of mine whenever my autoimmunity flares up. When I feel fatigued it’s a reminder to slow down and rest. But this level of fatigue was extreme. Like sit on the couch in sweatpants all day and barely move fatigue.

Finally, I made the connection to the switch in thyroid medication and made an appointment with my Functional Medicine Doctor. We got me switched back to my old medication that I tolerate better and I could feel myself coming back to life again…but just barely. There’s been a part of me that has felt off for a while. A loss of interest in things I love. Some of this could also be that it was winter and its less than pleasant to be outside as well. But all in all, I know I love my life, and I’m getting by, so it can’t be that bad right?

I honestly didn’t realize how burnt out I was until this week. I was in a dark place despite not knowing how deeply I was in this place. As a mom, and trying to run my own business, as well as having another job, and a home to manage, it is easy to forget to fill up your cup. You get to a place where eventually, you’re just moving on autopilot. I was going through each day eating healthy food, drinking clean water, a meditation here, a sauna session there, that’s self care right? Still there was something missing.

Labeling myself as Chronically Ill

Well my outlook on being burnt out has changed. And I really don’t want it to be part of my vocabulary anymore. Let me tell you how I got to this realization. During my biofield tuning session, Christina, the practitioner started on my left side (your feminine side) and she moves through your biofield starting from birth, because we hold on to things from the moment of conception. What we experience in the womb, can affect how we are as adults. This is why I am a preconception and family wellness coach. I enjoy helping women to have healthier environments to make healthier babies.

When she reached age 21, the first thing that popped into my head was, that’s the age I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. Over a decade ago I had a sense of relief of why my body was not working optimally, but I also gained this new label of someone who is dealing with chronic illness. Autoimmunity has its moments where the body is fighting itself. Depending on what causes the flare, it can take days, weeks, or months, for my body to calm back down.

But with this diagnosis of Celiac Disease and those that came after it (Hashimotos, Mold Toxicity, Mast Cell Activation Syndrome). I began associating as someone who is chronically ill, not someone who has these minor set backs that are manageable. And recently it has become very apparent that this identity as someone who is chronically ill was dictating my thoughts and how I have been talking to myself.

Back in October, I started a mold detox. I had a past mold exposure through my previous work place that lasted about 8 years, and finally ended in about 2017, but I never addressed this aspect of my health.

Then in 2020 during Covid, I discovered I was having low grade fevers daily. It was clear that my body had a constant level of inflammation and that it was fighting something or trying to keep something at bay. Despite this I felt great! My stress was surprisingly at an all time low. We cannot overlook the power of the mind!!!

Fast forward to March 2022, my husband and I start talking about trying for baby 2 and I visit my doctor again to make sure my thyroid and everything are working optimally for conception. This appointment in June led me down a rabbit hole to the Mast Cell diagnosis and dealing with mold toxicity. Mold is a huge trigger for Mast Cells, which are part of your immune system. So in October I started a mold detox and by December I wasn’t sure if I was detoxing mold, or just really worn down from starting a new job, teaching, having a three year old, and the medication change I already told you about. It seemed like my health and trying to get better pretty much consumed me.

Side note: I’m very grateful for my diagnoses and my personal health journey as it has led me to become a holistic health coach so I can help others on their own journeys. And so far I’ve been my own hardest case. All my previous clients have been much easier than me to help make improvements in their lives, and see the changes they desire. And I’ve recently been given the opportunity to help a population that is way more sensitive than me through my other job working with a Functional Naturopath, and I’m using this as an excuse to expand my knowledge base and take a Functional Medicine Practitioner training course to enhance my ability to assist my own healing and the healing of all future clients! More on this to come!

From Burnt OUt to Lit Up

So I’m laying on my bed, confessing to the practitioner that I dislike that I identify as someone who is chronically ill, and she hears in my voice how draining this is for me. She has me repeat the affirmations, “I am able to receive the light,” and “I am the light.”

As the session continues, she’s explaining to me about light being a force of energy and we are the ultimate creative force. We are creating our body and life in every moment, including moments of lacking. But when we get in those moments of talking to ourselves like I was, identifying as chronically ill, it is coming from a place of scarcity, a place of being burn out.

Where as when she had me repeat, “I am able to receive the light,” I had a mindset shift where the term burnt out made so much more sense. I wasn’t letting in this light energy. I wasn’t allowing myself to receive the light. I was in a dark place.

And then I further had the realization that mold grows and thrives in the dark, but it doesn’t in the light. In that 1 hr session, I had a profound realization of not just my mindset, but how this mindset might also affect the physical body I am trying to heal.

Further Reflection

What I loved about the biofield tuning was that I felt like it was a great tool for rewiring the brain and addressing both the limbic system and vagal nerve which are both important for helping the body heal and calm the nervous system. There’s a lot of talk about the vagus nerve and I often work with clients on figuring out how they can put themselves into a parasympathetic state (necessary for resting, healing, and digesting), but the limbic system is often left out of modern methods to help work on stress. Without working on this part of the brain our memory center, we can still be stuck in our healing.

I often tell Craig, “If I could just meditate for 2 hours a day I’d be great.” Christina reminded me during this session that there is beauty in our breath. When we microdose our meditation by making small adjustments throughout our day, like becoming mindful of our breath, or posture, or mindset in any given moment, we become a walking meditation. It is available to us at any given moment when we need it. I thought this was so powerful.

Want to Give BioField Tuning a try?

My friend introduced me to Eileen McKusick, who has a bunch of videos you can check out on YouTube, or learn more about it here: https://electrichealth.com/.

My session was with Christina McMahon of Harmonic Wellness: www.harmonicwellness.com. She does in person sessions as well if you are local to the Annapolis, MD area.